Perplexity

    Dark soulless eyes. All I saw were soulless eyes, piercing me through the dark. There the body lay cold on the floor with blank expressions on their face. What sat on the couch next to me lay a long machete with blood trailing all over my pearl-white tiles. My body is tense yet I’m feeling so calm. Like I’m seeing this out of my own body. 

    In the kitchen, I saw a figure with a phone in their hand screaming, “I knew you had something to do with it!” All of a sudden, it goes dark.

    Then a bright light emitted from the hallway, and I was me again. My body shivered laying in bed, and my mind felt so groggy. I’ve felt so haunted recently by my dreams, of my friends ghosting me, leaving me. All the days are starting to string together like a web, like who was on the floor? A bell rang from the kitchen signaling me in with my mother stood like the angel she was with food at the table.

    Pulled up a chair across from Mother and before I can even say good morning. She starts to complain.

    “I heard you moving in your sleep again,” she said, looking across from me.

    “I couldn’t sleep.”

     “Do you need me to call the doctor again?” She was reaching for the phone on the wall.

    “No gosh, please I’m fine. I think I just had too much caffeine last night at the store.” Reminding me to go obtain my paycheck today. “I need to head back to the store to grab my paycheck,” I scoffed. 

    My mother leaped up to grab a smoothie she made for me every day on the counter. “Here, take this before you leave,” I thanked her while taking a look at the background. I had never noticed how many pills my mother had on the counter until now.

    Walked into the convenience store right around the corner from my house to see a woman standing at the register who I had never seen before. Avoided looking at her and looked down at the smoothie in my hand. I headed to the back of the store to see if I could find my manager. It was as if the woman’s eyes were burning into the back of my neck. Gosh, I hate being out in public. 

    Behind me, I heard someone softly whisper to me, “It was you wasn’t it.”

    Smacking the back of my neck, I spun around to see a group of people huddled around me. Taking a few steps back I realized I had been cornered by them. They didn’t even blink once and heavily breathed at me as if they were trying to swallow me whole. Backing into the wall next to me I felt myself begin to feel dizzy and dropped my drink onto the floor. The room started to close in and people walking toward me became more distorted looking than before. 

    All around me these blood-curdling screams of disgust, “You did it, we trusted you!”

    I put my hand over my ears, crying hysterically, curtailing in a ball, waiting for it to leave me alone. I started to scream back at the demon figures in front of me to leave me alone. Tried rustling in my back pocket for my knife, pulling it out in a swift move, and swinging it in front of me. Then everything went silent. Did they leave? I felt something wet drop down onto my hand and slide down my arm. It startled me at first but when I felt a slender hand on my shoulder. 

    A voice spoke out in front of me, “Hey, hey, hey, you’re okay now.”

    Lifting my head I realized it was the woman from the register. Pulling back my knife I noticed the liquid on my hand was the woman’s blood dripping from the knife. Oh my god, did I? Trying to figure out what was going on,  I saw my manager point in my direction with a police officer by his side. Oh no, not again. They took a look at the situation, then I was put into the back of a cop car. 

    On the way to the police station, I couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened. It was like my inner demons came out of

    me and I had forgotten where I was. My mind had drifted away from reality for a few moments and I was so scared. I felt as if I was a small child crying out for my mother in my mind like the inner child in me was reaching out in a panic. I had been in this situation before, but I had no recognition of it. 

    I had heard them call Mother to come to pick me up as I sat in the chilly police office. As soon as she arrived I heard her cry and cry like she always does about me. It’s not his fault, you know he was just born this way! I’m sorry my son is such a freak. Making it about her, because it’s always about her. They let me go and Mother took me to the car. She handed me water and a bottle, I could barely see in front of me so I just popped it open and swallowed. I pulled my arms into my jacket, cradling like a baby. Covering my eyes, I slipped back into darkness once more, hoping I didn’t wake up this time. 

    My eyes opened and noticed I was back home on the couch. My surroundings felt more odd than normal. The room looked like it had been rearranged when I was asleep. My head felt so heavy, I couldn’t pick it up off the floor like a dumbbell. Like my body was spinning into the floor, as a drunk. Lifting my head I realized, I’d been here once before. Small house, same room, small mother figure, small everything. Opening my mouth I go to speak when I realized I wasn’t talking. I tried and tried but nothing was coming out. My voice was in a small box and someone else had thrown away the key. But I was the person throwing away the key.

    A woman figure stood in front of me, it was the woman from the store. But this time she was zip-tied and knocked out onto the floor. She looked dirty and had some blood smeared across her chest. It was in the shape of a pentagram, with her shirt cut open. Normally I’d jump up to save her and call the police. But I wasn’t around today, other me decided to take the wheel for this one.

    Mother walked to me, “Feeling better?”

    “More than better.”

    Picked up the knife on the couch to walk over to the lovely lady on my floor. I kicked my boot into her jaw, waking her. Her screams still shook downstairs, right into the roots of the foundation. Sometimes I can still hear her in my dreams, with those eyes piercing me, with my blood-stained clothes.

    I kneeled down to her height and pulled her face closer to mine. Whispering to her, “You have such a pretty face, bet I can make it even more pretty,” and then shoved my knife right into her skull. There was finally no noise, silence came through the house once more. Had a feeling so peaceful, and then something struck me in the head. Then darkness came again.

    My eyes shot awake so fast to find myself, again. I found myself in a similar situation. All I saw were soulless eyes, piercing me through the dark. The body laying cold on the ground, with a woman screaming on the phone. I was shaking, again. My head was foggy, again. 

    My mother came to me, trying to settle me down. “Honey please, I need you to take your meds, I think they’re wearing off.” She ran over to the counter grabbing whatever she could find. Is this fake? I can’t remember at this point which one I am. The knife was still next to me, blood-stained. My arm reached over, putting it in my hand. Wait what? 

    Lifted myself off the floor heading to the kitchen. I crept up behind Mother, going in to hold her again.
She turned around. “Oh honey, what are yo-” Shoved the knife into her neck. It happened so fast, in an instant everything was gone.

    “I had loved you so much Mother, but you were worse and tore me down. I hope this doesn’t cause anything between us.” With those words, her body lay limped in my arms. Gradually I laid her down into the chair in the kitchen. I put the apron over her and went to the fridge to grab the cake. I line up every single candle around the cake, pulled out a lighter, lighting every single one carefully.

    Pulling up another chair in front of my mother, I go to blow out the candles. “Happy birthday, Mama.”