This is me: So far so well

Story of my life as I go through the pandemic and family life

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Blake

A new beginning: Since the beginning of the school year my life has been like a rollercoaster. Moving to a brand new school, making new friends was the beginning. Then the pandemic began. I moved out of my dad’s house and am now living with my friend, working at a new job and living the life I have now.

At the beginning of the school year being a senior is “the stuff” because as soon as you’re done you’re out of school and then moving on into your life, but this year wasn’t even close to like because of COVID. Anyway a while following school closure I moved out of my parents’ house and have gotten a job to support myself financially. It was very hard and I still struggle from day-to-day. Being an adult sucks – paying bills, making dinner and working every day takes its toll. But even with those challenges, it does have its upsides.  I have learned a lot about life and a lot about myself very suddenly. I have become a better person and have and will always keep the hope of becoming completely stable and feeling it. There will come a day. I can feel it. 

Right after the pandemic shut down the school, I didn’t have the urge to do work and then was confronted by my father about getting some work done, so I began to do work and catch myself back up. After a while, being at home every day with my family felt like a burden until one night I had a confrontation with my dad which ended up leading to me being kicked out on my own to figure it all out for myself. Believe me when I say I am a very emotional family driven-person, so that experience and being away from my brother has taken the biggest toll on me. I didn’t really know how to cope with the feeling of emptiness, but I am very lucky to have great friends who have picked me up from the low place and state I was in. 

Now here’s where school plays into my life. I really didn’t believe I was going to pass and came to the point where I was so down. I didn’t believe in myself, but thanks to all the wonderful people at LSHS, I am, and I will be the first of my brothers to do so. And that right there brings a tear to my eye. I know I am not perfect, but I try so hard to be, and I just hope that I set a good enough example from them on how even at your lowest, you can still survive. You just have to fight and not give up. 

Through all these days, I have become okay with my situation. Emotionally I am becoming stronger. I know there is still a long hard road ahead, but I feel that I am a good enough person to know which roads to pick, but I can’t do it all on my own. So someday when I have my life completely in my hands and I can control what I can control, I will reconnect with my father and until then, I will be there for my brothers because I love them to death and will do anything for them.

Wish me luck.